Agggh I just feel like screaming sometimes. Trying to manage someone with NPD drives you insane. But then, everyone told me that ten months ago when I found out he has it.
Why didn't I listen?
Because I thought I was smart enough and strong enough to cope.
Because I could not bear to live without him.
But actually, turns out I am not smart enough OR strong enough. Trying to "manage" him has driven me half crazy, feeling in utter despair, that there is no much I want to say to him but I cannot.
Every time he opens his self-obsessed mouth he says something so bloody arrogant, so narcissistic, so selfish, so tactless, so uncaring, so hurtful or so ugly that it DEMANDS a rebuke from me, yet rebuke is out of the question, so I have to suppress it and bite my lip.
Rebuke is what you give a normal person who has temporarily forgotten his manners.
Rebuke DOES NOT WORK with a narcissist. All he sees is someone being unkind to him for NO REASON AT ALL, because he genuinely cannot see the reason behind the rebuke. All he knows is this: he is perfect, he does nothing wrong, he is just a poor man struggling against all the odds, when the whole world is stacked up against him, he battles on heroically. He never gets any help from anyone, he is undervalued in every aspect of his life, nobody gives him any praise or encouragement in life. Poor, poor him. He just tries to do right, and all he gets is some bloody woman having a go at him for no reason whatsoever!
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